Does this statement sound familiar?  “I know I should work out, but I just can’t get myself to.”  Or “I know what foods make me feel good, but when it comes down to it, I eat what I don’t want to eat.”

Isn’t it frustrating?  We know what’s good for us, and we truly want to do what makes us healthy.  So why can’t we just do the things, already?!?

If you find yourself stuck in this cycle with a particular behavior or habit you want to perform, there are two things that will help you stop doing what you don’t want to do, and finally do what you want.

1. “Don’t should on yourself”¹

I heard this quote years ago from a talk about setting boundaries, and I thought it applied so well to setting up healthy habits.  You see, when we try to guilt ourselves (or others!) into doing the healthy thing, it may work for a bit, but eventually, guilt isn’t enough to motivate us to keep performing the behavior.  Having a guilt trip (even a self-imposed one!) tramples on our autonomy, our ability to choose, and we humans don’t enjoy losing our right to choose.  Thus, we’ll retaliate, often passive aggressively, by doing the exact opposite thing.  

Instead of putting yourself through a guilt trip, work on accessing your true desire behind why you want to start that healthy habit.  You can do this by asking yourself “Why do I want this?” a few times so you can get to the bottom of what’s really motivating you.  Check out our blog post here and this helpful article from Precision Nutrition on how to this.²

2. Recognize decisions are made based on emotion rather than logic

You know this to be true if you’ve ever planned to get up early to exercise then when that alarm goes off, you hit snooze and stay in bed!  This happens to all of us because when the moment comes, we make decisions based on emotion rather than logic…even if we’re typically logical people!  

Instead of planning to do something you know you won’t be happy about when the moment comes (then getting upset with yourself at your apparent lack of willpower!), figure out how to make it easier to do what you wish you were doing.  How can it be easier for you to incorporate that workout?  How can it be easier to choose the foods that make your body feel good?  This can take a little thought and creativity, but it will keep you from getting back into the cycle of feeling guilty and like you lack willpower or motivation.  As James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, states, the systems you have in place, rather than your goals or habits, are what help you actually do the things you want to do.³

If you could use help to stop “shoulding” on yourself and come up with creative systems to finally implement healthy habits, check out wellness coaching!  You can get started by signing up for a free session here.

Sources:
¹Jones, A. (Host). Yes to you, means no to something else. [Audio podcast episode]. In Boundaries. http://catalysthome.org/. 
²Beers, E. (n.d.) Forget bikini bodies and big arms: Here’s the real secret for getting motivated to transform your body. Precision Nutrition. https://www.precisionnutrition.com/weight-loss-motivation
³Miller, D., Peterson, J.J. (2020, May 18). James Clear-the secret to a successful product launch. [Audio podcast episode]. In Business Made Simple with Donald Miller. https://hwcdn.libsyn.com/p/c/9/7/c975f37bbbbdab99/EP201_JamesClear_Edit2.mp3?c_id=73002320&cs_id=73002320&expiration=1625709915&hwt=d1b5073095b2274f01425a039cc152db

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