So, I have no idea how far along I’ll actually be by the time I post this article, but that’s okay…hopefully I’ll be less nauseous and have figured this whole pregnancy thing out a bit better (completely unrealistic, I know) (UPDATE: I’m 26 weeks and have nothing figured out)

I’m about 9 weeks pregnant right now, so VERY few people actually know at this point, which is one of the first challenges of pregnancy. I’m sick all the time, slightly grumpy and eating weird things, but NO ONE actually knows why. I’m certain people are starting to wonder about me. 🙂

Anyway, back to the topic at hand: here’s my list of why I think the world of pregnancy has started out a lot like a weekend trip to Las Vegas.

1. From the moment you enter this world, you become incredibly sleep-deprived. In Vegas, you’re likely to experience late nights and early mornings full of gambling, dancing, walking the strip and drinking. In the world of pregnancy, you start waking up 3-4 times a night to pee and if you’re lucky, you fall back asleep each time. More than likely though, you’re so freaked out about all the changes happening to your body that you can’t possibly fall back asleep. Point being, much like a weekend in Vegas, pregnancy involves chronic sleep deprivation (what happens when the baby actually arrives?!).

2. Your eating regimen is anything but normal. You know what happens on vacation – for many of us, those healthy eating habits go right out the window (or at a minimum, they become much more “flexible”J). For these first 9 weeks of pregnancy, I can hardly look at a vegetable without literally throwing up. My healthy eating habits seem all but vanished. Counting macros? No chance. Eating a high-protein diet? Not happening (bring on the carbohydrates!). Having a salad for lunch? Yuk. Luckily, this is likely to return somewhat back to normal in the near future. I’ll keep you posted. (UPDATE: Yes, I do seem to have found a better balance, and am happy to report that I am eating vegetables again)

3. You feel hungover basically ALL the time (nauseous, tired, and cranky, on the verge of puking… or actually puking). Hey, it happens to the best of us. Being in Vegas can be like one giant hangover (of course this depends on how you “do” Vegas). Those of you who know me know that I don’t drink a lot…at all. In fact I can probably count the times on one hand that I’ve actually been hungover. But the only thing I can liken the first 4 weeks of pregnancy to, is being incredibly hungover, all day every day. I am on the verge of puking at any given moment. And let me go ahead and clear up a misconception that nearly EVERY mom already knows, “morning sickness” is about the stupidest term. To steal the term from author of The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Lovine (which I highly recommend by the way), these raging hormones in my body that are making me nauseous 24/7 are much more appropriately termed “progesterone poisoning” which is anything but exclusive to the morning.

4. You’re kind of in this unfocused daze all the time. Vegas is like sensory overload. You can’t really focus on any one thing because there’s SO much going on around you. This is absolutely how I’ve felt since finding out we’re pregnant. I’m in this cloudy state where I’m always thinking about the fact that I’m pregnant (and all the questions that go along with it), that I can’t focus or concentrate at all.

5. Finally, while everything you’re observing seems foreign, NOTHING you experience is out of the realm of what’s “normal.” You know Vegas – crazy outfits, people, shows, street performers, impersonators, bearded ladies, and the list goes on. When you’re in Vegas, it all seems strange at first, but you come to realize, that’s just Vegas. Pregnancy is the same thing. Bloat like you’ve never seen, peeing more than you thought possible, boobs growing and growing before your eyes, more saliva than you thought you could drool, throwing up at the sight of salsa, etc. It may seem strange, but oh, don’t worry, it’s just pregnancy. 🙂

So, for all the rest of you mommas out there, I’m curious: Any other ways that you thought pregnancy felt a lot like being in Las Vegas??