As I sit down to write this blog post, there are SO many thoughts going through my head.  As you know, Kellie and I competed in our very first Bikini/Figure Competition last weekend- The Warrior Classic.  The experience was quite possibly one of the most exciting I’ve ever been a part of.  There’s so much to say about it all, but I want to focus this post on the three most important things I learned throughout the process of training for this.

While I certainly gained a tremendous understanding about the human body, nutrition, and the mechanics of lifting, what I learned extends FAR beyond how to properly deadlift (although that’s important too:).

The first and most important lesson I learned was to rely on other people for support.  Those of you who know me, know that for me to ask for help is like trying to get me to eat a steak…nearly IMPOSSIBLE.  I tend to believe that I can do it all on my own, wanting to portray this idea of perfection to everyone I know.  That’s a tough façade to constantly uphold.  What I quickly learned through this journey was that it’s MUCH easier, and less scary, if you open up to people.   Talking to people about my struggles was tremendously helpful.  I realized that the things I struggled with were quite common.  The challenges I faced IMMEDIATELY seemed surmountable when I told someone about them.  An incredibly heavy weight (not just literally) was lifted.

The second most important thing I learned about was my relationship with food.  When you have to be so disciplined with your diet, you quickly start to uncover things that you were able to hide from before.  You’re forced to confront those bad habits we all have with regard to food.  I realized that I eat when I’m overwhelmed, lonely, or procrastinating.  If I have so much to do that I don’t know where to start, I procrastinate by eating (how backwards is that?!).  I also eat to fill the void of loneliness.  And the journey to competition can feel incredibly lonely at times (hence where relying on others for support comes into play:).  I was forced to confront this emotional eating, and to try and find ways to deal with it.  It’s a work in progress, but my relationship with food is SO MUCH healthier than it ever was before.

Finally, I learned, as silly as it sounds, that I am not perfect.  There.  I said it.  And even better, I don’t have to be.  Rather than constantly fighting to hide my imperfections from both myself and others, I’m learning to accept these things.  It’s what makes me human.  It’s interesting to me, too, that as soon as I accepted these imperfections, everything got better.  I was in a better mood.  I was able to make SO much progress with my physique.  My body image improved.  I was happier, and able to get MUCH closer to my friends and loved ones (you know who you are:).  It was scary at first, to admit this, and it still is at times.  But each time I share it, I feel better and better.

So why do I share this with you (aside from to make myself feel better:)?  First, because I want you to know that everyone has their struggles and imperfections.  (Even those of us who fight to keep them hidden).  Second, because I believe that by accepting these imperfections, rather than sweeping them under the rug in shame, we are able to work on improving ourselves.  And isn’t that what life is all about?

Who would have thought that standing on stage and flexing in a tiny green bikini with 5 coats of spray tan and heels would have taught me all this?